Monday, June 27, 2011

Twisted Trista

So I have had a slump lately.  I want to write but I have had bunch of people on my mind but nothing has been sticking.  I think I was spent for a bit after the post about my dad.

Then I had some friends come from out of town and they're the type of friends that come into your life, you grow close to them quickly and you know automatically that they have been put there by God to fill a certain role in your life. Realizing that put someone in my heart.  I have another another friend that fits into that description, Trista Coyne. So Trix, just like the rest of world, it's all about you today:)

Would you believe I stared this entry on June 23?  All of the other entries took me a day.  I say this because on June 25th I had a bad day.  I was deep in depression and I could not shake it.  This doesn't happen to me often, if you know me well you will seldom find me without a smile on my face.  For some reason I could not shake this oppressive sadness that was burdening me that day.  I was smothered.  I felt like I was trying to tread water in some kind of thick goo that was making it impossible to stay afloat.  I could break the surface and get a breath (thanks to my kids) but then it would quickly take me under again.

I hadn't talked to Trista in over a month, but when I texted her that afternoon to ask her if I could call her that night she texted right back, "yes please".  I knew she would be there for me.  I knew she was the life raft that would carry me out of the goo, back to dry land.  I was right.  When I called I tried to small-talk and she would have none of it.  She said, "you need to talk".   She said she was happy to know that I needed her.  I do. 

I have said before (although, this might be the first time that Trista has heard it... from me), that the world revolves around Trista.  This might sound bad to some of you.  I don't mean it the way you think I do.  Trista is not self centered, she is not egotistical.  Trista is captivating.  If you walk into a room that has the privilege of containing Trista Coyne, I promise you will find a gravitational pull toward her.  You will feel like the floor is on a slant toward Trista and you're like water, helpless to flow in another direction. 

Halloween of 2009 is our friendship anniversary.  I will NEVER forget the day I met Jim and Trista Coyne.  Because they were dressed like vampires and Trista teased her hair and gave herself some pretty impressive bangs.

I wondered if that was how she normally styled it (I am pleased to announce that she does not).  I was introduced to them by my "Bestie" (which is a term that Brian Menz is trying to replace BFF with... make a mental note), Holly Downs.  She told me, "You have to meet Jim and Trista.  You are going to love each other".  Holly is usually right.  This was no exception.

We connected pretty much on the spot.  It turns out that Trista is married to a man that is the identical twin (minus a decade) of my dad.  Naturally there was not a minute wasted, wine was poured, chit-chat commenced, laughter was in abundance.  I left hoping to see them again, tomorrow and every day after that.  I lived 40 minutes away at that time, and my ex-husband was in Iraq so I was alone with the 4 kids and when the snow storm of the century was forecasted, I packed up the kids and the dog to go be snowed in with Holly and her family (who will undoubted receive a chapter of their own in the near future, so I won't go into all the good they did me at this moment). It was the most memorable 4 days of my life.  We walked from house to house (did I mention that Holly and Trista are next-door neighbors?) each night for dinner.  I fell in love with the neighborhood that weekend, the way that everyone looked out for each other there.  One woman (Julie) pulled her daughter over in a laundry basket with a rope attached for the community dinners that were prepared.  We all pitched in with shoveling.  When someone was able to navigate the roads they would stop and ask if anyone needed anything.  It was magical.

So naturally, I bought the house across the street as soon as I could.  Then around the time I was closing on that perfect house my world crashed down around me.

I won't go into any detail except to say that whey your husband of 8 years leaves you and you suddenly become a single mother of 4 with no income you go through a bit of a soul searching time in your life.  Some people channel the anger and sadness into a wrath of a divorce case and hurl all of their energy into punishing that person and arranging a new life. I shut down.  And my new friend took care of me.  She insisted that I get my own band account, a feat I couldn't seem to imagine.  She forced me to get a lawyer when I wanted to roll over and pretend it just wasn't happening.  She took control of my future when I wouldn't.  She found my lawyer, she took me by the had and went to the first meeting with me, and when I felt like I was signing my life away and I needed a minute to breath, she kicked that lawyer out of his own office to give me that minute.

Trista is the most feeling person you have ever met.  She feels your pain as if it's her own.  She will shed tears with you, for you, she will get mad with you and when you experience joy hers will bubble over and her infections laugh and smile will make the possibilities seem more endless and the happiness deeper.  She might say it's a fault. I would say it's a gift.  If not to her, then to me and everyone that can call her a friend. 

I can't imagine what it must feel like to be Trista.  She suffers from rheumatoid arthritis.  She is in constant pain.  Today she might be limping because her knee is flaring up.  The minute that heals she'll show up in a wrist brace.  I have witnessed her crying from the pain.  Can you imagine trying to raise 3 beautiful children, being and HR manager for a large electronics dealer and suffering the pain she suffers?  I can not.

I admire her more than most people.  I admire her strength, her security, her passion, her compassion, her professionalism, her positive outlook, her perseverance and her sense of humor.  I admire her commitment to her marriage and to her children.  I admire her way with kids, the obvious love she has for her kids and for mine.  She is raising 3 wonderful people (one of them is my "best friend kid"... a term coined by her daughter, Millie, when she described me as her "best friend grown-up).

I do a killer Trista impression too... maybe is my wish to emulate her more that makes it easy for me to impersonate her.

Thank you, Trix, I don't know if you know the depth of the impact you have had in my life.  

Thank you, Trix, for your friendship.  I will love you forever:)

1 comment:

  1. You totally missed the pain she has put you through caused by the namesake of this blog post!! I'll leave it that.. which will require an explanation.